A padded cell in a psychiatric hospital has cushions lining the walls. The padding is an attempt to prevent patients from hurting themselves.

In most cases, an individual's placement in a padded cell is involuntary..

Welcome to My Lair..

Andy is responsible for inflicting a number of websites on an unsuspecting public, reflecting his interests in forensic psychiatry, information technology, psych nursing and other extraneous paraphilia paraphernalia. Originally hailing from the Anglo-Saxon-Norman town of Norwich in England's green-and-pleasant land, he has worked in various fields including IT, nursing and psychotherapy and has taught stuff at colleges and universities too.

Nowadays our lad exorcises his daemons in Van Diemens Land where he exercises his passions for writing and photography and indulges a moderate case of coimetromania.

These pages contain the grave consequences of such activities and should provide some macabre musings for the darkly inclined..

Anecdotes from the smorgasbord of life..


The infamous transorbital lobotomy was a blind operation, in that the surgeon did not know for certain if he had severed the nerves or not. A sharp chisel-like object would be inserted through the eye socket between the upper lid and eye. When the doctor thought he was at about the right spot, he would hit the end of the instrument with..  [more]

Architectural History

DRAYTON OLD LODGE | Upon Fastolf shuffling off this mortal coil in 1459 the Lodge was left to his relatives, the auspicious Paston family. At the time the somewhat avaricious Duke of Norfolk coveted Caister Castle, Sir John's largest property, while the Duke of Suffolk had designs on Drayton and besieged it with a view to..   [more]

I see dead people

Claus's particular claim-to-fame in certain circles, is his technique of preserving the body parts by sealing them with a secret recipe of chemicals, thus preventing the natural decay of the tissues.. [more]

Guide to the classics

If you're anything like me, you love some classical music but struggle to remember those foreign-sounding names. Perhaps you think a movement is just something which happens in your trousers after a large curry [more]

Buying a motorbike

If you don't check first, you could presently be opening the door to a couple of goons with tight suits and itchy brass knuckles (UK: knuckle dusters), ready to relieve you of your new purchase to redeem.. [more]

Asylum Tales

"I need to take a look inside your cha-cha.."

Sometimes you've just gotta say what you mean and Enrolled Nurse Bridget Hargreves wasn't beating about the bush (yet) as she attempted to escort patient June Southerby to the ladies' block, while at the same time efficiently wiping June's cheek with a kleenex. It was a regular ritual that neither enjoyed but Bridget (being the only female on-duty, heh..) tackled the task with her usual aplomb. But the woman riled..   [more]

Tripod Larry..

Being a man of habit, Larry was usually back from his walks for the evening meal, but as tea time came and went, concern mounted and a search was made of the grounds and surrounding area. Unfortunately it gets dark early on the cold winter evenings and our man was nowhere to be found. It was decided that another search be carried out at first light..  [more]

Random House

Life in a Community rehabilitation facility..

I: Handover

You always know when you've arrived for duty at Random House. If the acrid stench of stale piss doesn't get you first..   [read]

II: Pulp Friction

Has she been helping herself to the residents' medication again..?   [read]

III: Student Nurses

They're not bad," Maudlin replied, "We've got one male and one female this time. Jeff, the male, is interesting..   [read]

IV: Initiation

The laundry bag creaked a bit at the seams as the rope tying it to a radiator inside gave a little, but it held strong..   [read]

V: Evening Shift

Andy looked up from his microwaved lasagne and carefully wiped his lips with a napkin, "I'll deal with this one."..   [read]

VI: Rehab & Reality

"Hey cheer up Nurse Andy!" said a bright apparition standing at the office door. "Wot you got to be so down in the dumps about..?"   [read]

VII: Body Fluids

Now, I truly tried hard to find a nicer term here, but nasal mucus doesn't really begin to describe..   [read]

So far, so good? Use the menu at the top of the page to discover more creative genius.

© 2002-2021 paddedcell.com.au | All Rights Reserved | Web design by PaddedCell | Hosting by VirtualHost